


Lasting Effects

by TheAngelofFate



Category: Digimon, Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Frontier
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I can’t stress enough that this is platonic, Koichi and Koji are the best of bros and nothing more, Koichi is there for him always, Koji is once again emotional, lots of hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 09:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18797530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAngelofFate/pseuds/TheAngelofFate
Summary: The events in the Digital World have long since passed, and things overall have been going well for Koji and his family, or at least they would be if it wasn’t for the nightmares he keeps having every night.





	Lasting Effects

**Author's Note:**

> Writing my recent Digimon Frontier fic got me in the mood to rewrite and repost them on here, a shame that this season of Frontier is all but dead but I’m gonna do it anyway cause why not?

 

 

Koji jerked awake at the seer intensity of his nightmare, sweat dripped down his back and his throat felt dry and hoarse. He took a deep breathe to calm himself down as he rubbed his damp, itchy eyes with the back of his hands.

_Calm down._ He told himself, in an attempt to calm himself down, _There_ _was_ _no_ _need_ _to_ _get_ _so_ _worked_ _up_. But even as he thought that, the Warrior of Light knew that by the shaking of his hands and the trembling of his body that it simply saying those words wouldn’t be enough this time. It had only been three weeks since they all had return home from the Digital World. Since both worlds were saved by the Ten Legendary Warrior's, by Koji and his friends.

Three weeks since he nearly lost Koichi.

Koji shivered, wrapping his arms around himself and rolling onto his side.

Revealing that the twins had found one another to their parents was more difficult with their father then with their mother; whom was overjoyed that her sons had found each other. Their father, however seemed more guilty and ashamed then glad. For it _was_ his idea to not only separate them but keep it a secret for twelve years.

It was also his idea to lie to Koji about his mother being dead this whole time, where she hadn’t been. Even Satomi stated that while she wanted Koji to see her as his mother, she _never_ wanted to fully take her place even when she thought she was gone. And even now more so, with Tomoki being alive and well.

It had been a lot to take in the first couple of days, a lot of tension and raised voices. All directed to Mr. Minamoto from a very betrayed feeling Koji. He remembered glaring at their father, demanding an explanation, his body shook with anger as he stood in front of Koichi in a protective manner, his hands grasping his twin's arm, fearing that Kousei Minamoto would cruelly separate them again.

But then after the air had been cleared, after the tension had died down. A true explanation was stated, it wasn't a good enough one for Koji to fully accept right away, but it was one nonetheless. Soon family gatherings with the five of them weren't as awkward as they first had been, and Koji's relationship with Koichi grew with each passing day, the two Warriors of Light and Dark were inseparable just as they were in the Digital World.

Things were good.

But even after _all_ that family confrontation and acceptance, after all the progress he had made; Koji still had the same reoccurring memory in his sleep. His twin's lifeless, dull eyes haunted him everything time he closed them. Koichi's skin, ice cold to the tough made his own crawl. The loud beeping from the monitor only deepened that horrible feeling.

He shivered once again as his breath hitched, as he squeezed his blue eyes tightly closed to the point where they hurt. _Stop it. He's alive, he's not dead. He's home with mom right now._ Koji thought furiously, because it was true. Koichi _was_ fine, he was alive and with their mother. And yet— And yet Koji couldn't shake these feelings away, like he could the other times before; this unbearable pain in his chest, this cold dread, no matter what he did it wouldn’t go anyway.

And it wouldn’t, Koji concluded, not until he knew that he brother was alright. Usually it only took a simple text from his phone to Koichi's to ease his mind enough for him to fall back asleep.

But this particular nightmare was worse then the rest of them. Texting his brother wasn't enough, for Koji to fully relax, he needed to _see_ Koichi with his own two eyes to know that he was truly alright.

He gazed at his alarm clock, _3:14 a.m_. Koichi was probably already in bed and their mother was most likely starting the night shift at the Hospital. His heart hammered in his chest, it was very late. If he snuck out now, he would very likely hear about it from his father later, but he needed to see his brother.

But would his twin understand? Would he offer the reassurance Koji desperately needed wanted?

  _Yes._

Hopping up out of his bed, he threw on his dark blue jacket and white shoes. He quietly —as to not wake up his father and mother— walked out into the nightly air. Since the trains stopped running a while ago the Warrior of Light was forced to walk the six long miles to get to the small apartment where Koichi was located. It was cold outside, making him wish that he brought something thicker to shield himself from the cold, instead of his thin blue jacket. He shivered again, this time from the cold breeze that brushed against his body.

Desperate for warmth, he quickly zipped it up and shoved his hands into his pockets.

As he walked down the street, things only worsened for him when _of course_ it started to rain. Thick, heavy rain drops poured down on him. _Just my luck_ , Koji sighed, feeling exasperated, but kept walking. Keeping a steady pace, as he let the rain fall against him, soaking him from head to toe. Koji never minded the rain, in fact he always found it quiet peaceful.

Nearly a full hour later, he could _finally_ see the outline of the apartment complex coming into view. “Finally.” He sighed loudly, choosing then to walk at a much quicker pace. He realized then, that he was a lot calmer then he had been before when he first started this walk. Maybe that had something to do with the rain? It is known that rain can wash away your worries and doubts.

Well regardless if he was calm or not, Koji _still_ wanted to see his brother, plus turning back now would mean another hour of walking and his feet were already killing him.

So he kept going.

Then out of the corner of his eye though, he saw something that made him stop and turn. Laying in one of the alleyways was abandoned brunette haired doll, either lost or abandoned by a little girl who lived around here. It was drenched in rain water, it’s long red hair sticking to it's face and purple dress. It's cold, green eyes stared up at Koji, they were like a corpse, looking so ominous and foreboding.

Those doll eyes, unseeing— _lifeless_.

A memory flashed within his mind and those doll eyes were replaced with Koichi's. Fear started to hammer in his chest, Koji shook his head trying to push the memory into the far corners of his head. But it was no use, the more he looked at the doll, the stronger the memory became and the worse Koji felt.

His body shook, but it wasn't from the chilly air. Koji found himself breathing heavily as he recalled what Koichi had said. " _I didn't think that I'd see you, but your here."_

He knew.

 _You knew didn't you, bro?_ His twin had figured out why he never got injured to the point where his Fractal Code never appeared, when everyone else's, including Koji's would. Koichi found out. But just didn't say anything.

 _I knew something was wrong. I could see that he was worried about something by the look on his face._ Why hadn’t he pushed harder? He should have done more, said more to make Koichi open up.

_"Koichi? C'mon, bro. What's wrong?"_

_"I told you. Nothing."_

_Yeah, nothing._ Koji didn't believe that for a second. At the moment he knew Koichi was keeping a secret from the rest of them. But he was patient, and persistent.

_"We're bound together, it's how I know there's something bothering you."_

His brother had tried to deny such a fact, saying that he was fine. But the Warrior of Light wouldn't have any more of that.

 _"Koichi, I know. I'm_ _ **not**_ _guessing, I_ _ **know**_ _. When your hurting, I feel it too. When you suffer,_ _I_ _suffer along with you, don't you know that?"_ But where as Koji was patient and persistent, Koichi was stubborn and hesitant. They really were twins with opposite personalities.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Koji yanked his bandanna off his head and ran a hand through his soaking wet hair.

_Why didn't you tell me, Koichi? Why?_

Would it had made a difference if his twin had told him that he was just a spirit in the Digital World? That he was —in fact— already dead the minute Koji and the others left on the Trailmon's to the Digital World? Would it have made it any less painful to say any of that? No, that answer was simple. It wouldn't have matter at all if Koji knew or not. For he, either way would still have to face the blank, lifeless expression his brother wore as he pleaded and begged for Koichi to come back.

 _"_ _Koichi! Wake up! Koichi! You have to come back! I'm here now, it's okay, it's **okay**! Please!"_ It hadn't been the first time he’d cried, crying was a natural response, so of course he’s cried before but as he looked at his brother's pale face; seeing it so lifeless and blank, that it was however the first time Koji has brokenly _sobbed_ in his life. Tears cascaded down his cheeks, his chin and neck.

And when Koichi came back, Koji was trembling from the sheer force of his tears as he embraced a reborn Koichi, they both were.

He clinched his hands into fists. With more difficulty then there should have been, Koji tore his eyes away from the doll's and bolted down the street. And as he ran, he realized how strange that no matter what; the two of them were always running towards each other. The Warrior of Darkness ran as he desperately wanted to meet the brother he never knew he had. The Warrior of Light ran in gut-wrenching fear of losing the other when he just was getting to know him.

And now he was doing it again... in the same desperate manner he had before.

He reached his destination in a matter of seconds, his left hand laid on the wall near the front door, he leaned against it for support as he tried to catch his breathe. He was soaked to the bone, his whole body was shaking like a leaf, but Koji had made it.

Raising his right hand, he wasted no time in laying two swift knocks on the wooden door.

_Four_

 

_Three_

 

_Two—_

The door opened. And it was as if someone had replaced the open door with a mirror. Koichi's face, appeared then, the very one they shared. His brother looked at him, surprised as he stared at Koji, his eyes as wide as saucers. "Koji?"

He's okay.

 _See? Nothing to be worried about_. He reassured himself. Full blown relief flooded through him, his brother was alright.

He couldn't describe how happy he was to know that. The mere thought of Koichi dying again made his heart ache, made him feel nauseated. As he stood there, staring at his brother, he felt his eyes begin to sting. Soon tears flowed freely down his cheeks as they mixed with the rain that still soaked him entirely. Without any sort of hesitation, Koji took one step forward, and enveloped his twin in a tight embrace.

A single whimper escaped his lips before he buried his face in Koichi’s shoulder.

Second later, he felt arms wrap around him as well. Hands rubbed small circles on his drenched back in a attempt to soothe him.

"...Koji?" His brother's voice was filled with concern.

"Koichi. I—" Koji trailed off. Not sure exactly what to say that would explain why he was acting this way. Acting so emotional and clingy. So he simply stayed silent as he sobbed.

The Warrior of Darkness seemed to understand everything then, as if Koichi had read his mind within seconds. He felt his brother tighten his hold around him and pulled Koji closer, to give him as much comfort as he needed.

"It's okay, Koji."

" _It's okay, it's **okay**! Please!"_

He gulped down the lump in his throat. " _K-Koichi_!" His voice cracked, hitched in his throat as his emotions lay there, like an open wound. Faintly, he felt Koichi let one arm fall but still kept one clasped tightly around Koji's shoulders as he help him inside the small apartment.

 

 

* * *

Once Koji was inside, Koichi’s instincts kicked in and he immediately brought his brother some pajamas from the laundry room. As he left to put his brother's wet jacket, bandanna and clothes in the hamper so they could be dried when the sun rose later. It still baffled him that Koji had walked six miles in the pouring rain at four in the morning just to see him.

The nightmare Koji had must have been worse then the others had been. 

And knowing that, he quickly walked back to his bedroom where he found Koji already clothed and laying on in his bed with the covers pulled up to his neck, he looked positively miserable, laying there, shaking like a leaf. The sight alone made Koichi quicken his pace, making his way to the other side of the bed, he pulled the cover back, and took his spot right next to his brother. Immediately, Koji latched on to Koichi, and had him in a firm embrace once again.

Which —despite the serious of the situation— made Koichi smile.

His brother had always showed a different side of himself when it came to showing his personality out in public. The most he would do was a hand, arm on or around the shoulder. But alone, with just each other. Koichi saw a side of Koji that no else got to see. A softer, sensitive side, one that was ready and willing to give and receive hugs, a side that showed more emotions.

And Koichi cherished that, that he was able to see that side of his brother.

Koji buried his face in the crook of his brother's neck and relaxed as best as he could. "I'm— I’m sorry. It must be annoying, me being so _clingy_."

Koichi shook his head and gently returned his identical twins hug. "I've never once thought that, Koji. Who am I to judge on being clingy.” 

In the silence that followed seconds after that, Koichi decided that whatever caused Koji to become _this_ hysterical, to the point where he walked six miles just to see him, they had to talk about. "Want to talk about it?"

Koji let out a shuddered breathe. " _No—_ ” 

Of course he didn’t, but then again. Koichi expected as much, Koji never really liked to talk about his nightmares, scared that bringing them to the surface would long prolong their stay. A few more seconds of silence ticked on for a minute or two.

Koichi then, heard his brother let out a shaky breathe. "I dreamt about that day in the hospital. About you lying on that table, your eyes how hollow and lifeless they were. How you were just _gone—_ "

The Warrior of Darkness rubbed Koji's shoulder, he had a feeling this had all been about him, it mostly always was he could just never get Koji to validate him or not the previous time, he gently rubbed circles on Koji’s back, offering him all the comfort he could muster. "It's okay, brother."

"It's _not_ okay!" Suddenly Koji jerk his face away from Koichi's embrace and gaze at the him with pained, piercing eyes, the eyes they both shared. "It's not okay, _nii_ _-san_!

His twin's outburst surprised him.

"You died! Koichi! The monitor flat lined, your heart _stopped_!" Koji said loudly as his voice shook. Fresh tears made their way down his now dry face. Gently, Koji placed his forehead against Koichi's and tried to cease his trembling. "You— You were dead. For a few terrifying minutes you were gone. Do you have _any_ idea how that made me feel? To receive hope that you were still alive then for fate to cruelly shove it in your face that you weren't for some minutes. It felt like I failed. And it _hurt_." Koji's hands gripped the clothing of his brother's shirt like a vice, he held on as tightly as his fingers would allow.

All Koichi could do was listen as Koji spoke. He did understand what Koji was going through. The feelings of fear, hurt, and failure. He had felt all that when he ran after his brother at the train station. _Fear_ that he would never be able to meet Koji face to face, _Hurt_ that he'll never know or have that connection, that bond with his twin like he should, and _Failure_ that he wasn't brave enough to just walk up and talk to his brother before things had went south.

 _Yes_ , he understood.

He ran a hand through Koji's messy, damp ponytail in a attempt to show that he did, in fact, understand. "I'm _here_ , Koji. I'm alive. See?" He proved this by letting Koji hear his still beating heart. “I’m right here.” 

Koji nodded, tears still falling down his cheeks. "I _know_ that, I know I _know_ that, I've told myself that’ll those other times too. I— I just _can't_ help it. The nightmares won't leave me alone!" The Warrior of Light's voice was just above a whisper but he had heard it. “I don’t know what to do.” 

He wanted to say something to his brother, _something_ to comfort Koji and reassure him. "I just have a few more boxes to pack. I'll be ready to move closer to where you live in a couple days." He said hoping that statement would calm the other.

Koji sniffed. "Yeah, so?" He asked sounding slightly like publicly antisocial Koji.

Koichi almost laughed.

" _So_ , maybe with us living closer, going to the same school and being together all the time will help the nightmare be less frequent."

Koji closed his eyes. "Are you sure mom's okay with you guys moving all of a sudden? You guys have lived here for years.” 

_It was her idea._

"Yeah, she's completely fine with it." And she was, it had, after all been his mother’s idea to move closer to where Koji lived.

Her reasoning was simply that since they had all been reunited that she saw it as only natural that they’d loved closer, because she didn’t want to be apart from Koji and she didn’t want them to be part from each other anymore. Because that had been her biggest regret, separating them. 

"Are you feeling any better?" The Warrior of Darkness asked, gently, after a while of silence.

Upon the question being said, Koji moved and laid his forehead to where it had been previously, in the crook of Koichi's neck. "Just— Don't go anywhere, and I will be."

"Koji—" He breathed. His voice turned sad at his brother's tone. "I— I can't promise that." It was true he couldn't. Fate is a harsh being in itself. Neither of them knew what it had in store down the road. Yes, they were together again and safe. But for how long? The Digital World was dangerous but their own world was even more so. Fate could decide to take Koichi away again. And this time there would be no miracle to bring him back.

In an instant his brother's condition reverted back to rigid fear and tears. The younger twins body began to shake, his arms went around the older's back and held on for dear life. "Koichi _, please_ _._ "

Koichi sighed quietly. And just once, for a fraction of a second he _wished_ Koji wasn't so sensitive and overprotective when it came to him. But then that thought vanished, dissipated in an instant. _If our rolls were reversed? How would I be acting?_

His brother had every right to be this way, to feel this way, losing Koichi, for Koji had been like losing a part of himself. Because they were, after all, twins, bound to each other through a tether that connected them to each other’s hearts. They were each other's halves, two sides of the same identical coin.

And more so, they were Light and Darkness.

“ _Did you know that Light and Dark are brothers? It's true, Koichi. One can't even live without the other one. Darkness is only a bad thing unless you choose to make it that way."_

Patamon was right, as always, on both accounts.

He swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. "Only if you promise the same thing to me." Koichi whispered out. Because the thought of losing Koji, when he went through so much to find him, filled him with so much dread, his heart almost ceased.

Without any hesitation, Koji nodded. "I promise. If we go anywhere, anywhere at all, it'll be together. Like it always should have been."

A warmth grew in Koichi's heart at Koji's words. Now it was his turn to feel emotional, his turn to be the twin that needed the reassurance. Tears pricked his own eyes as he embraced the brother he tried so desperately to meet and wished so badly to get to know.

"Okay, Koji. Then I promise too."

Koji let out a sigh and relaxed almost immediately against Koichi. "Thanks Koichi."

"Of course. Anytime, brother. "

Soon the twins lay in a comfortable silence that they both welcomed easily. It didn't take long for Koichi to realize that Koji was starting to fall asleep. "Koichi?" The younger's voice small as he fought the hands that were pulling him into dreamland.

The older's arm ached slightly from laying on it for so long, but he didn't complain, he never did. "Hmm?"

"Love you, bro."

The sentence was so quiet, it sounded more like a exhale of breathe, that tickled his neck, then a sentence at all. But Koichi heard it anyway, and it surprised him.

_Love, huh?_

Sure, they loved one another, there was no question. It was clearly obvious that they did considering all they've done for each other. But neither of them have said it out loud before, not in the Digital World nor when Koichi awoke from dying.

Hearing it now, for the first time and knowing that Koji meant it wholeheartedly, The Warrior of Darkness has never felt so happy in his life.

Koichi smiled. "Love you too, Koji."

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said I wrote this wayyyy back five years ago and it wasn't good, but now that I’ve edited it I feel so much better about it. 
> 
> In fact now that I see this and my recent Frontier fic, I guess you can say this is a ‘what if’ type of story, in which ‘what if’ these twins had actually talked about everything. About the pain Koji was going through and if Koichi had listened. 
> 
> Anywoo, please if you can, please your thoughts and feedback down in the comments and i’ll see you all later.


End file.
